Thursday, February 26, 2009
The road less traveled
One of my favorite poems is "The road less traveled". What I remember is "Two roads diverged in a wood. And I, I took the one less traveled by." This week I am finding myself at a major crossroad in my life. I received a phone call from my supervisor Monday afternoon to be told that the district school board was having a meeting that night to discuss whether or not they were going to continue to contract with my agency for our services. One of my co-workers went to the meeting to here what was going to happen and the board ended up going into closed session. Everyone is up in arms about the status of our jobs. Janet said that if the district did take the classes back we had the option of applying with the district or staying with the ESC. Last year at this time I would have said I would stay with the district but now I am not so sure. This considering that they have 30 displaced teachers due to budget cuts and the state is knocking at the door to take over. Call me stupid but now is not the time to become an employee of their district. That and I am pretty sure they are not going to pay me anywhere near what I am making now. The county has to provide me with a position but who knows where that would be. Plus I highly doubt they would keep my team together which sucks big time now that I finally have a great one. So, after much soul searching and discussion with my sister I have made a decision. After almost 6 years with the Educational Service Center of Central Ohio and living in wonderful central Ohio, should Canal Winchester Local Schools recapture their county units, I will be returning to Northwest Ohio. What will I do for a job? Who knows. At this point all I care is that I have insurance and can afford to split rent, utilities, and essentials with my sister. I'd even like to go back to school. Do I care if I teach? At this point, not really. I think I am suffering a little from burnout. I am one that firmly believes that things happen for a reason. I have been debating about returning to my home town for ahile now and maybe this is a sign. For now, all I can do is watch and wait. And boy do I hate waiting.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Ponderings
I realize I haven't written lately. Life has been pretty crazy between work and my never ending quest to find the answers to my chronic pain. It took me two weeks to be seen by my neurosurgeon only to be told he wanted to see the films and results from the MRI I had of my neck in 2007. I made an appointment to see him the following week and obtained the results from the imaging facility. I took the day off of work due to being squeezed into his schedule. I get all the way to his office (30 minutes away from where I usually see him) for him to look at the date (which I told him of the week before) and say it was too old and we would need to repeat it. At least he has a baseline. I went this past wednesday for it. I am in the midst of filling out paperwork when Glenna calls me to say she is having a severe asthma attack and needs to go home. Not to mention one of my students was sent to school with a high fever. I haven't heard back from the doctor so I am assuming there was no change which means it is not a pinched nerve in the neck and the problem is muscular. Glenna has pneumonia, the student had strep throat and by the end of the week, two more students had come down with it. Gee, do you think my neck problems could be stress related?
So something has been bothering me for over a week and I just can't seem to get past it. My sister says that I shouldn't let it bother me and maybe by writing about it I can purge my system and be done with it. Now, I know some cultures have different ways in which they treat women. And I think I experienced this first hand but it still unnerves me. Two weeks ago I had a gentlemen pick up the extra position that has been posted for my room on our sub web page. When I saw the name I anticipated someone not from the US originally. To be perfectly honest, after having worked with him, we are still unsure of where he is from. OK so here is how it went. "CP"(what I will refer to him) came in at 7:30 that Monday morning. Right off the bat he was standoffish toward me when he discovered he was not in subbing for me but as an extra pair of hands. At 10:00 I got a call asking if I could send one of my subs over to the elementary. I had 2 since Glenna was sick. I decided to send CP because of how Danielle was reacting to him. He got very pissed with me when I told him where he needed to go. He left and we went on with the day. He came back the next day (a little late) and everything was fine. Dona asked him where his hometown was and he replied Massechuesetts. She then made a comment about his accent which was tinged with French and he informed us his accent was English. Ok. Through more discussion during the day, Dona learned he had one daughter and she was 13 but he told Glenna she was 7 and in the first or second grade. He was very direct about asking questions about certain students backgrounds and questioning me on things. I began to get a vibe. You know how my spidey senses are. On Wednesday afternoon as school was dismissing he said to me "I can come in around 9:00 tomorrow." Not realizing he was asking if he could come in late. At this point I was alone with him and feeling uncomfortable so I agreed. He then said "Will your husband come get you if weather gets worse?" I said that I wasn't married and would drive myself home. He got this funny smile on his face and apologized for assuming I had a husband and I said it was no problem. He then smiled again and told me to call him if the weather got too bad and he would come back and take me home. Now, I know that sounds innocent enough but if you could have seen the expression on his face you would have gotten a little freaked out also. I told him I would be ok and I would see him in the morning. I told Glenna and Dona about it and they just kind of laughed it off. We were doing Valentine activities with the kids when he came in. He put his things away and came over to where we were working and interrupted me to tell me in front of everyone that the shirt I was wearing was just beautiful. Ok that freaked me out even more because the lacivious look was back and this time the girls saw it. Dona knew right away how uncomfortable I was. God love Danielle, she informed us she needed to go to the restroom and Dona and I left to take her. The rest of the day I was on edge because I felt he was watching me. At the end of the day I went to change back into the heels I had been wearing and he commented that when I was done with the shoes he would be willing to take them off of my hands. Now how weird is that. He also commented on the big bag I had and I should have a man carry that for me. Generally I stay in the building to wait for Melanie's bus to drop her off but that day I wanted out of there. Dona had grabbed the bag and I said I can carry my bag and she said your right, this thing isn't that heavy. I think he was a little disappointed when I bolted for the door. Glenna tried to joke about it but Dona knew I was not in the joking mood. My sister said maybe he was just trying to be nice after getting off on the wrong foot especially when he realized I was his supervisor. My feeling is he was totally inappropriate since I was his immediate supervisor. I know I am not used to guys complementing me but trust me his compliments I did not want. Now I have a personal struggle with what to say to my superiors. Do I tell them how uncomfortable he made me and that I would prefer not to be put in that situation again or do I keep quiet and pray he never picks up another assignment in my room? Maybe Laura is right. Maybe I read more into it. Who knows.
So something has been bothering me for over a week and I just can't seem to get past it. My sister says that I shouldn't let it bother me and maybe by writing about it I can purge my system and be done with it. Now, I know some cultures have different ways in which they treat women. And I think I experienced this first hand but it still unnerves me. Two weeks ago I had a gentlemen pick up the extra position that has been posted for my room on our sub web page. When I saw the name I anticipated someone not from the US originally. To be perfectly honest, after having worked with him, we are still unsure of where he is from. OK so here is how it went. "CP"(what I will refer to him) came in at 7:30 that Monday morning. Right off the bat he was standoffish toward me when he discovered he was not in subbing for me but as an extra pair of hands. At 10:00 I got a call asking if I could send one of my subs over to the elementary. I had 2 since Glenna was sick. I decided to send CP because of how Danielle was reacting to him. He got very pissed with me when I told him where he needed to go. He left and we went on with the day. He came back the next day (a little late) and everything was fine. Dona asked him where his hometown was and he replied Massechuesetts. She then made a comment about his accent which was tinged with French and he informed us his accent was English. Ok. Through more discussion during the day, Dona learned he had one daughter and she was 13 but he told Glenna she was 7 and in the first or second grade. He was very direct about asking questions about certain students backgrounds and questioning me on things. I began to get a vibe. You know how my spidey senses are. On Wednesday afternoon as school was dismissing he said to me "I can come in around 9:00 tomorrow." Not realizing he was asking if he could come in late. At this point I was alone with him and feeling uncomfortable so I agreed. He then said "Will your husband come get you if weather gets worse?" I said that I wasn't married and would drive myself home. He got this funny smile on his face and apologized for assuming I had a husband and I said it was no problem. He then smiled again and told me to call him if the weather got too bad and he would come back and take me home. Now, I know that sounds innocent enough but if you could have seen the expression on his face you would have gotten a little freaked out also. I told him I would be ok and I would see him in the morning. I told Glenna and Dona about it and they just kind of laughed it off. We were doing Valentine activities with the kids when he came in. He put his things away and came over to where we were working and interrupted me to tell me in front of everyone that the shirt I was wearing was just beautiful. Ok that freaked me out even more because the lacivious look was back and this time the girls saw it. Dona knew right away how uncomfortable I was. God love Danielle, she informed us she needed to go to the restroom and Dona and I left to take her. The rest of the day I was on edge because I felt he was watching me. At the end of the day I went to change back into the heels I had been wearing and he commented that when I was done with the shoes he would be willing to take them off of my hands. Now how weird is that. He also commented on the big bag I had and I should have a man carry that for me. Generally I stay in the building to wait for Melanie's bus to drop her off but that day I wanted out of there. Dona had grabbed the bag and I said I can carry my bag and she said your right, this thing isn't that heavy. I think he was a little disappointed when I bolted for the door. Glenna tried to joke about it but Dona knew I was not in the joking mood. My sister said maybe he was just trying to be nice after getting off on the wrong foot especially when he realized I was his supervisor. My feeling is he was totally inappropriate since I was his immediate supervisor. I know I am not used to guys complementing me but trust me his compliments I did not want. Now I have a personal struggle with what to say to my superiors. Do I tell them how uncomfortable he made me and that I would prefer not to be put in that situation again or do I keep quiet and pray he never picks up another assignment in my room? Maybe Laura is right. Maybe I read more into it. Who knows.
Monday, February 2, 2009
I feel the need, the need to.....
vent. Bet you thought I was going to say speed. I guess vent isn't really the word I want to use but I need to process the events of my day today. Now mind you we hadn't been in school since last Monday due to the snow storm we received. It has been my experience that with an unexpected absence such as that, kids can be wired. In my six years of working for the Educational service Center of Central Ohio (yes, we have had yet another name change) I had to do something for the first time. From the way my new student entered the building this morning I knew we were in for it. By 9:30 I had completed my first emergency removal of a student from my classroom. There was just no getting through to her and I had to follow through with the consequences I gave her if she didn't get herself under control. Without going into to much detail the gist of it is that a threat was made and I had to involve the police. Although the police did not ultimately take her, she was transported privately to Netcare and is currently under observation. This incident also opened my superviser's eyes on the fact of needing another adult in the room.
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