Some days I hate being me

I haven't really focused much on me as I have been writing this blog. I guess I tell more anecdotal stories that deal more with people in my life and how I fit in to it. But today is all about me. For those of you reading this that do not know me, I have been dealing with a variety of health issues. It all started in the fall of 2006. I was working part time as a nursing assistant at a local Assisted living facility. I really liked the job and the extra cash was a bonus. I soon started having problems with my left shoulder and I was waking up with numbness and tingling in the hand. Several years prior, I had similar symptoms but in my right arm. I assumed that I had tendonitis like before. But then things changed and I was having trouble gripping and holding on to things, not only with my right hand but my left also. I had insurance issues so I couldn't go to the doctor at the time. I finally saw a doctor for it in July of 07. It was at that visit that the doctor discovered I had an irregular heartbeat. Was news to me. I wasn't even feeling it. I had also found a lump on my neck because I had also started having neck pain as well. So, in a span of two weeks I had a Cat Scan of my neck, a stress test and an echocardiogram. I was also starting to have pain in my joints from head to foot. There were days that I felt like I was going to shatter apart from the pain. Was I going crazy? The stress test came back fine all though I was still having PVC's. I was told that I had a slight heart murmur. My cat scan came back that I had an enlarged lymph node that was reactive to something. What we don 't know. I was then sent to physical therapy for two months. I had an MRI of my neck in October. The cardiologist is stumped as to why I am having the PVC's. In the mean time I am taking medication to help with it. I am now also taking Paxil to help with my anxiety. The docotr wrote me a prescription for a muscle relaxer to help with the pain. In February she sent me to have an EMG. It showed that I have moderate-severe carpal tunnel in both wrists. So I was then sent to a nuerosurgeon. He talked with me and listed to all of my symptoms and for the first time I feel like someone is listening to me. He is going to do surgery on my right arm first. He is going to take care of the wrist and elbow because he feels that there is pinched nerves in both areas. If this helps we will proceed with the other arm. If not, we are going to start looking at the neck and spine. The pain is just about constant in my arms and wrists. My fingers hurt so bad that some days I can't even bend them. I have lost the feeling in the fingertips and I am afraid to do everyday activities that involve sharp utensils or hot items. To top it off he want s to make sure I don't have any sleeping issues like sleep apnea. Yes I wake up during the night but I am waking up because the pain is so intense in one of my arms. This is a totally different kind of pain that I have ever felt before. It is like a burning pain. I also get it in my fingers. But because of some other factors, I am going to ahve a sleep study tonight. I have a prescription for sleeping pills I need to pick up before heading over there. I am not looking forward to this. Am I going to get a decent nights sleep? Plus I am going into work following it tomorrow morning. I just want to have surgery to see if we can eleviate some of my pain.