The Journey has begun

As you can tell as you read my posts alot of them have dealt with issues I have reagarding my health. If I haven't mentioned it before I am overweight and I know that plays a big part in my problems. I have been overweight since jr. high. I tried to lose weight in high school but found it very difficult. Factor in peer pressure and how others treat you and the constant nagging of my mother I basically would give up. I would lose some and then gain it back. I believe we call that yo-yoing. During college I managed to lose a little and keep my weight pretty consistent. I am one that can say I didn't gain the freshman 15. Through talking things out with one of my friends I have begun to come to terms with things. I want acceptance desperately but often turn to food when my emotions are out of control. This same friend was in about the same situation as I am and was. She took things into her own hands and lost the weight and has managed to maintain a healthy weight and I am so proud of her. It is her that I look to for encouragement. Now that I have some of my health issues under control it is time to start working on a new me. Only my sister, parentsand assistants at work know what I am about to say. I didn't want my friends to know until I had seen some results. Around the 1 year anniversary of my Aunt's death I took the big step and joined weight watchers. My 2 friends have done it with wonderful results. I am not going to meetings at this time because I am 1) too busy to get time in for a meeting and 2) too embaressed. I don't want anyone but my doctor and I knowing my weight. She is aware of what I am doing and is offering me safe exercises that I can do to reduce stress on my joints since I am still experiencing so much pain. I keep track of my points on line, I am reading food labels, and learning to make more healthy choices. I was very scared when I went to Florida. I knew I would be eating out with my parents and hadn't done much of that at that point. I managed to lose while there. My sister has been my biggest supporter by far. And I am proud to say that as of today after being on the program for a little over a month I have lost 14.6 pounds. I am happy with the number. I do not want to loose too much too fast because I am afraid I will put it right back on. I have a long road ahead of me but am taking it one day at a time. I have an ultimate goal of what I want to lose but am making short term goals along the way. Currently I want to lose 20%. I hope to be there around March/April. I thought I was about to have a setback last week with all the stress I was under from work. I had to stop focusing on it because it was driving me crazy. In fact I hadn't weighed in since January 9 because I didn't want to see the number. I forced myself today and was equally surprised. I am not on a diet. I am making a life style change and I can do it. I'll keep you posted along the way.