sneak attack

And now... the end is near...and I did it my way. I feel Frank Sinatra's song is apprapo for the way I am feeling today. We knew it was inevitable. We had been anticipating this day. But once faced with it, no matter how much you are prepared, you are still surprised. There is nothing like opening up a district wide email to discover they are posting your job. Of course we are encouraged to apply once it is posted externally and our head honchos stated that they would do everything possible to find placement for us within our agency but we really should explore other options. Even though I had already took that step it is hard because not only does it effect me but the rest of my staff and my students. They are the ones that are going to suffer. I wish Canal winchester nothing but the best in trying to run these units on their own. But I can tell you there are major, major flaws in their plan. How about the fact of the number of staff they are hiring for each class. In my room alone I have 3 assistants for 7 kids. Next year there will only be 1 assistant. I have about 11 weeks left to make this the best school year for my students on record. As I said, I'll do it my way. Canal is going to regret treating us the way they have. We have become the parriah of the school. HHMMM... what are they going to do when we leave with all of our materials and we don't all jump at the chance to work for them?

File that under "He did what?"

This is one for my stupid criminals file. Growing up, my family's favorite ice cream treat was Klondike Bars. I can still remember the jingle: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" Well apparently a 65 year old man in Fort Pierce, Fl was willing to steal one. It seems the gentleman stole that, some Ramon noodles, and some famous amos cookies. When caught by the clerk, he pulled the smooshed, melted treat out of his back pocket and offered the clerk $69 to not turn him in to the police. Now if he had $69 to bribe the clerk with, why not just buy the items in the first place?

Signs

There are all different types of signs. Some signs are concrete. We can see them and they provide us with information. For example they tell us to stop, walk, where the next rest area is , etc. But there are also those signs that are more abstract and you have to really be watching and paying attention to see them. Some people don't believe in these types of signs. The type that help one deal with inner turmoil and difficult decisions that need to be made. Is this God assisting you in your time of need? Or when such signs are revealed is it just one big coincidence. I have been battling inner demons for a few weeks now. The prospect of losing a job that I trully love is difficult. I keep hearing "It will all work out. Everything happens for a reason." I can actually say I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing things to keep myself busy lately because I am homesick and have been for awhile. If I am not here then I can't think about what I am missing up there. But all the little signs or coincidences if that is what you would prefer to call them are leading me to one conclusion. It is time for me to seriously return home. Thanks to the best second mom a gal could ask for I was put onto a job lead for a new school that may be opening in the fall there. What's the sign you ask? The school is based here in Columbus. So, I polished up my resume with some assistance from a good friend and sent it out today. There is still no word from the district or my employer as to what is in store for us but I am feeling more confident with my decision everyday. In the words of the great Ozzie (Osbourne not Nelson) "Momma I'm coming home".

The road less traveled

One of my favorite poems is "The road less traveled". What I remember is "Two roads diverged in a wood. And I, I took the one less traveled by." This week I am finding myself at a major crossroad in my life. I received a phone call from my supervisor Monday afternoon to be told that the district school board was having a meeting that night to discuss whether or not they were going to continue to contract with my agency for our services. One of my co-workers went to the meeting to here what was going to happen and the board ended up going into closed session. Everyone is up in arms about the status of our jobs. Janet said that if the district did take the classes back we had the option of applying with the district or staying with the ESC. Last year at this time I would have said I would stay with the district but now I am not so sure. This considering that they have 30 displaced teachers due to budget cuts and the state is knocking at the door to take over. Call me stupid but now is not the time to become an employee of their district. That and I am pretty sure they are not going to pay me anywhere near what I am making now. The county has to provide me with a position but who knows where that would be. Plus I highly doubt they would keep my team together which sucks big time now that I finally have a great one. So, after much soul searching and discussion with my sister I have made a decision. After almost 6 years with the Educational Service Center of Central Ohio and living in wonderful central Ohio, should Canal Winchester Local Schools recapture their county units, I will be returning to Northwest Ohio. What will I do for a job? Who knows. At this point all I care is that I have insurance and can afford to split rent, utilities, and essentials with my sister. I'd even like to go back to school. Do I care if I teach? At this point, not really. I think I am suffering a little from burnout. I am one that firmly believes that things happen for a reason. I have been debating about returning to my home town for ahile now and maybe this is a sign. For now, all I can do is watch and wait. And boy do I hate waiting.

Ponderings

I realize I haven't written lately. Life has been pretty crazy between work and my never ending quest to find the answers to my chronic pain. It took me two weeks to be seen by my neurosurgeon only to be told he wanted to see the films and results from the MRI I had of my neck in 2007. I made an appointment to see him the following week and obtained the results from the imaging facility. I took the day off of work due to being squeezed into his schedule. I get all the way to his office (30 minutes away from where I usually see him) for him to look at the date (which I told him of the week before) and say it was too old and we would need to repeat it. At least he has a baseline. I went this past wednesday for it. I am in the midst of filling out paperwork when Glenna calls me to say she is having a severe asthma attack and needs to go home. Not to mention one of my students was sent to school with a high fever. I haven't heard back from the doctor so I am assuming there was no change which means it is not a pinched nerve in the neck and the problem is muscular. Glenna has pneumonia, the student had strep throat and by the end of the week, two more students had come down with it. Gee, do you think my neck problems could be stress related?
So something has been bothering me for over a week and I just can't seem to get past it. My sister says that I shouldn't let it bother me and maybe by writing about it I can purge my system and be done with it. Now, I know some cultures have different ways in which they treat women. And I think I experienced this first hand but it still unnerves me. Two weeks ago I had a gentlemen pick up the extra position that has been posted for my room on our sub web page. When I saw the name I anticipated someone not from the US originally. To be perfectly honest, after having worked with him, we are still unsure of where he is from. OK so here is how it went. "CP"(what I will refer to him) came in at 7:30 that Monday morning. Right off the bat he was standoffish toward me when he discovered he was not in subbing for me but as an extra pair of hands. At 10:00 I got a call asking if I could send one of my subs over to the elementary. I had 2 since Glenna was sick. I decided to send CP because of how Danielle was reacting to him. He got very pissed with me when I told him where he needed to go. He left and we went on with the day. He came back the next day (a little late) and everything was fine. Dona asked him where his hometown was and he replied Massechuesetts. She then made a comment about his accent which was tinged with French and he informed us his accent was English. Ok. Through more discussion during the day, Dona learned he had one daughter and she was 13 but he told Glenna she was 7 and in the first or second grade. He was very direct about asking questions about certain students backgrounds and questioning me on things. I began to get a vibe. You know how my spidey senses are. On Wednesday afternoon as school was dismissing he said to me "I can come in around 9:00 tomorrow." Not realizing he was asking if he could come in late. At this point I was alone with him and feeling uncomfortable so I agreed. He then said "Will your husband come get you if weather gets worse?" I said that I wasn't married and would drive myself home. He got this funny smile on his face and apologized for assuming I had a husband and I said it was no problem. He then smiled again and told me to call him if the weather got too bad and he would come back and take me home. Now, I know that sounds innocent enough but if you could have seen the expression on his face you would have gotten a little freaked out also. I told him I would be ok and I would see him in the morning. I told Glenna and Dona about it and they just kind of laughed it off. We were doing Valentine activities with the kids when he came in. He put his things away and came over to where we were working and interrupted me to tell me in front of everyone that the shirt I was wearing was just beautiful. Ok that freaked me out even more because the lacivious look was back and this time the girls saw it. Dona knew right away how uncomfortable I was. God love Danielle, she informed us she needed to go to the restroom and Dona and I left to take her. The rest of the day I was on edge because I felt he was watching me. At the end of the day I went to change back into the heels I had been wearing and he commented that when I was done with the shoes he would be willing to take them off of my hands. Now how weird is that. He also commented on the big bag I had and I should have a man carry that for me. Generally I stay in the building to wait for Melanie's bus to drop her off but that day I wanted out of there. Dona had grabbed the bag and I said I can carry my bag and she said your right, this thing isn't that heavy. I think he was a little disappointed when I bolted for the door. Glenna tried to joke about it but Dona knew I was not in the joking mood. My sister said maybe he was just trying to be nice after getting off on the wrong foot especially when he realized I was his supervisor. My feeling is he was totally inappropriate since I was his immediate supervisor. I know I am not used to guys complementing me but trust me his compliments I did not want. Now I have a personal struggle with what to say to my superiors. Do I tell them how uncomfortable he made me and that I would prefer not to be put in that situation again or do I keep quiet and pray he never picks up another assignment in my room? Maybe Laura is right. Maybe I read more into it. Who knows.

I feel the need, the need to.....

vent. Bet you thought I was going to say speed. I guess vent isn't really the word I want to use but I need to process the events of my day today. Now mind you we hadn't been in school since last Monday due to the snow storm we received. It has been my experience that with an unexpected absence such as that, kids can be wired. In my six years of working for the Educational service Center of Central Ohio (yes, we have had yet another name change) I had to do something for the first time. From the way my new student entered the building this morning I knew we were in for it. By 9:30 I had completed my first emergency removal of a student from my classroom. There was just no getting through to her and I had to follow through with the consequences I gave her if she didn't get herself under control. Without going into to much detail the gist of it is that a threat was made and I had to involve the police. Although the police did not ultimately take her, she was transported privately to Netcare and is currently under observation. This incident also opened my superviser's eyes on the fact of needing another adult in the room.

Going stir crazy

Let's see. It is now Thursday the 28th and I have only been to work one day this week. Monday night we received about 3 inches of snow and the district decided to close. My guess is they decided to do this because of a storm that was approaching. We then got ice ontop of the snow and then more snow. I braved the elements and cleaned my vehicle off around 12:15 today. I decided to tackle the ice head on. I used a hammer. Within half an hour I was able to get into the car and venture out to survey the roads. Needless to say if the back roads around here are anything like the main road, school will not be in session tomorrow either. The majority of the roads are still snow covered, slushy in places, and sheets of thick rutted ice in others. My apartment complex is awful. They plowed but it is still very icy.
Since Danielle has started in my class, we have been in school 6 days. It's frustrating because I understand the need for safety for the staff and students. But I am not going to make any progress with her if we keep missing school. I feel like we are starting to gain her trust. She is testing us no doubt about it. We caught her trying to hide a broken crayon on her person. Lord only knows what she would have down with it.
I am trying to keep myself busy. Luckily I had gone to the library and gotten some books. I have read 1 so far and am about a 1/3 through the second. I have taken more time to cook after discovering some good recipes on weight watchers website.
At least I work at Lakeview this weekend. They wanted me to come in today but I hadn't attempted to get my car out and after being out on the roads I am glad I turned it down. Lord only knows what the roads are going to be tonight. The temp isn't even above 25 and I think it's supposed to get colder. But I won't mind going in Sat. or Sunday. I love working the weekends. It's nice and quiet generally.