the judicial system sucks!!!

I guess I should hold off saying that until my sister hears back from her attorney. The last 2 weeks have been pretty rough for her. Her ex has visitation with my nephew every Wednesday and every other weekend. The last 2 Wednesdays he has called her up and just laid into her verbally. Very belligerent and threatening. This is why she divorced him in the first place. I wanted her to file a report last week with the police but we didn't have any solid proof of what occurred. Well, last night he made a huge mistake. He called my sister to bitch her out for something stupid. The daycare had an outing and she didn't pack a lunch. They were going putt-putting and to an ice cream stand that also sold sandwhiches. We both assumed they were eating there. The teacher never called us. She decided to hang up on him because of the language he was using. He calls back and she opts not to answer. The moron left a voice mail and the police department has an audio copy of it. Her attorney is in the process of contacting the mediator they used to see about revoking visitation for the time being. One because his episodes are escalating. Two, he bounces from his brother's house to his girlfriend's house. Neither of which we have an address for. He is so unstable. At this time he is not fit to parent my nephew. The poor thing told me he heard everything Brian said to Laura on the phone last week and that the girlfriend stood there laughing. Brian also had the nerve to refer to his son as a bastard. That one I heard because Laura had put it on speaker phone. For those of you reading this I would like your opinion. Brian states that my sister is a bad mother and is going to loose him because a: she still wipes his bottom after going to the bathroom (checking to make sure he got himself clean) and b: she doesn't let him take his own bath. Now in my opinion I side with my sister. Hello, he's 5.
My family is down because we know we are following procedure but it probably isn't going to do any good. Brian will find some way to weasel out of this just like always. My sister also found out from a common acquaintance that he has been MIA from work for like 6 weeks. My heart is just breaking for my sister and her son. She said the poor thing has barely said two words to her since getting home. He has been in his room watching his shows on Noggin. Unfortunately his therapist is on vacation untill the end of next week.

all in good time

I have been staying at my parents recently. I will be here until the day before my surgery and then back here recuperating. I drove down to my place today to check on Clark, the class turtle, pay my rent for the month of August, and check my mail to see if my new contract had arrived. Indeed it had. I am getting ready to start my 6th year with the Educational Service center of Franklin County. I finally was offered a 2 year contract. It's about time. My supervisor could not understand why I was still having to be evaluated every year. I told her it was because I was still only receiving 1 year contracts. With this 2 year contract, I will not have to be evaluated this year. Not that I do a bad job. I have always gotten excellent reviews. But even after 11 years in the field I still hate being observed. It is the not knowing what is going to happen during a lesson. That and the fact that I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I do my lessons day by day instead of by the week. It has been my experience that anything can happen and I never seem to get through a week's worth of plans. I also hate being tied down by things. I have a general idea of how I want the week to go. It drove me crazy at my previous job that everything was so structured for the students. I realize our population needs routine but there comes a time when you have to teach them that routines may change. There are always things that are going to come up that we aren't expecting. There is also the fact that I just plain hate writing lessons plans. My assistant and I are so finely attuned to each other that she can pretty much run things when I am not there. My students know that we have a general schedule that we follow but they don't necessarily know what order we are going to proceed in. As I like to say "expect the unexpected". Therefore when I know I am being observed it makes me worry. My supervisors have never been on time for a lesson I am teaching. They always seem to come in midway. I also believe that every moment is a teachable moment and why waste paper if I know what I am doing. I know, I know. What if you get sick? How will the sub know what to do? I have "plans" in my sub folder. Also I call my assistant and let her know I am going to be out. I then e-mail her a copy of my days plans to print off. Like I said, she's good. There is also the fact that I rarely take a sick day. So needless to say I am ecstatic that I do not have to be observed this year.

plans always have a way of changing.

I admit. I was very upset last night. We were going to have to cancel our trip to Michigan. My brother and his notorious wife waited till the last minute as usual to confirm the date of my niece's birthday party. As usual it is a combination party with her sister's son. I wanted to say screw it. We had already ordered a gift card for her and it was to be delivered via mail. But Laura and Becky won out and and brought back from the dark side. You see, it's not that I don't want to see my brother and nieces. It's my sister-in-law. I think she just tolerates us for Jeff's sake. She doesn't go out of her way to call my sister or I. In the 5 years I have lived here they have come down 2 times. Mary can be a very moody person when she wants to be. Which is most of the time. Everything has to be her way. Her side of the family comes first. My brother complains that my parents never stop over. Well maybe because they don't want you to be embaressed that your house is a mess. Anywho, I digress. I could write an entire blog on my relationship with her. So, I cancelled our reservation in Michigan. I then got to thinking. What if we still went ahead with our plan but go somewhere closer and come back right before the party Saturday night. Question was, where to go? I remembered a place we went as children and I think the boys are going to love it. We are booked into a Holiday Inn Express (same chain) But this time we have a queen suite for about the same price a night we would have originally been paying. It has 2 queen size beds and a separate parlor room where there is a kitcenette and sofa sleeper and another tv. No fighting over what to watch and no roll away bed. The two boys can share the sofa and Laura and I can have our own beds. Although I have a feeling bubby will end up with one of us. He had bad dreams again last night. He goes to his dad's tonight and lord only knows where he'll be staying. That is another blog entirely. So we are heading for Grand Rapids, Michigan tomorrow. Hometown of our 38th president. The man that was president the year I was born. Gerald Ford. We are going to go to a Children's Museum and friday night we are going to drive over to Grand Haven to see an attraction that has been there for as long as I can remember, The Musical Fountain. I can remeber going with my parents and waiting for dark to arrive. The music would start and then the founntain would dance to the music. That was one of the few times that we were allowed to sit on the hood of the car. I think the boys are going to love it. I can't wait. Laura says everything happens for a reason. Maybe it does.

soap box time

Stupidity angers me. Stupidity towards children angers me even more. There is this radio personality for MSNBC that is very controversial. He goes by the name Michael Savage and his show is called Savage Nation. His latest off the wall remarks are towards the population of children with autism. His view is that 99% of those diagnosed with autism don't really have it and that they are just "brats". I went to his website and listened to his explanation of his remarks. He bases his beliefs off of the fact that he had a brother with a disbility that died in an institution. He says that the pharmaceutical companies are pushing for a diagnosis of autism to get their drugs out there. He feels that there is an overdiagnosis of the disorder. As an Intervention Specialist whom specializes in working with the autistic population, I do not think there is an overdiagnosis. What I think you are seeing is new awareness by parents. It was not socially acceptable to have a child with a cognitive disability many years ago. You didn't talk about it and you certainly didn't see them out in public. He stated that doctors have broadened the term to encompass more. Yes, that is true. There is still so much we do not know about autism. There are such varying degrees of it. So therefore we discribe it as a spectrum. There are key characteristics we look for when diagnosing and depending on the severity, it will determine where on the spectrum that child falls. I have worked with children that have had very average to above average IQs. They were very high functioning and you would hardly know they were on the spectrum. But then I have also worked with those that are on the opposite end of the spectrum, average intelligence but communication delays like you wouldn't believe. Behaviors coming out that stemmed from them not being able to let us know what it was they were trying to communicate. That's not a brat. That is a child crying out for help. It just angers me that someone can be so callous and make an assumption like that. Until you have been in the trenches with these children day in and day out and gotten to know them, you can not make a general assumption like that. Yes there may be a few cases where the diagnosis was wrong. I have dealt with that before. But to say that 99% of children with autism are faking it is wrong. I would love to invite that man into my room any day and have him tell me that my students are faking their disabilities.

As sleep evades me

It is almost midnight and I find myself having trouble going to sleep. I was just about there when my cell phone rang and it was a number I didn't recognize. I tried to go back to the sleep but then the creepy crawlies started in. I have been dealing with them throughout the day today. That is what I call it when all of my muscles begin to ache and I feel like I am going to walk right out of my own skin. So here I am up on the computer hoping this will helping wind down again. So I have a news ticker that runs across the top of my computer screen. Every now and then an interesting headline will catch my eye. One in particular did tonight. "Men sentenced for setting friend's crotch ablaze." Hmm. Sounds interesting. So I clicked on it and read the article. It would seem that two young men were sentenced to some jail and community service for setting their friend's crotch on fire as a practical joke. I guess the friend had passed out from too much drinking and like any good friends would do, they decided to pull a prank on him to teach him about the do's and don'ts of falling asleep drunk. Now I will admitt that I have played some jokes on friends but nothing like this. They doused his privates in cologne and set it on fire. I mean come on now. The man's testicles suffered 2nd degree burns. That goes beyond funny. My sister complains because my BFF and I played a few harmless pranks on her the night before my birthday when she fell asleep on the floor. All I did was draw a smiley face on the bottom of one foot and R.I.P on the other. Well that and put an icecube down her pants. Took her 15 seconds to wake up from that one. I absolutely draw the line at bodily harm. Those guys should have to serve time. After all it is assault. So my sister can thank me for at least pulling harmless pranks. Who lnows next time I might get the shaving cream out. Better be careful Laura. I love ya!!!! :)

here goes nothing

My loving sister calls me bright and early this morning on her way to work. It was ok though. I was up. Even with the Ambien I am still waking up every few hours. So, sister has decided she wants to get the hell out of dodge for a few days this weekend. "You can do the research on the computer. I was thinking Mackinaw Island or something like that." Well, Mackinaw would be nice but expensive. I chimed in with what about Sault Ste. Marie. She loved the idea. So I got busy and started looking for hotels in our price range and with features we wanted. Namely a pool, continental breakfast and a room with fridge and microwave. Holiday Inn Express is where we will be staying for 3 nights. As I was making the plans I got a bright idea. Why not kidnap one of my BFF's kids as a companion for my nephew. Ran the idea by my sister and she loved it. Made a call to the BFF and she said that was fine. I then talked to said child and he was up for it. Especially when I said we could go bug hunting. So I will be going for my pre-op testing Wednesday morning and then will head for North western Ohio. I will pick my nephew up from his Dad's on Thursday, get Andy and head to Toledo to meet my sister at work. She gets off around 2:30pm. From there we are going to head to Michigan. I am looking forward to it. I have very wonderful memories of family vacations in that area. Most recent being with just myself and my parents 4 years ago. Laura and I have always loved the area and we are both looking forward to introducing it to the boys. I will take my computer to keep a travel log but don't know if I will be accessing the internet or not. Will publish my stories when we return.

In Loving Memory

In the past, my parents and I have made an annual trek to southern Ohio to place flowers on my grandparents grave. Since moving to the big city, I have taken it upon myself to do it on my own. It is only a 2 hour drive there for me compared to a 4 hr one for my parents. I have been thinking about doing it this last week. So yesterday I was out shopping after my doctor's appointment and I stopped in at the dollar store. Generally I go to Hobby Lobby to get my flowers to make an arrangement but with gas prices the Dollar store won out. I picked out some very lovely mums that I know my grandmother would have loved. I got some floral tape and proceeded to make a nice arrangement to leave at the grave. I have decided that I will make the drive tomorrow. Upon talking to my mom today I told her what I was going to do. She thought it was very nice. She said that my Aunt Janet had called her to see if she was going to mass Saturday night. Mom thought maybe another mass was being said in my aunt Rose's honor. To her surprise it was for my grandfather. I can't believe that we have arrived at the anniversary of my grandfather's death. He died the weekend before my friend Kris and I were scheduled to move from fremont to Bowling Green 7 years ago this Monday. I have been missing him lately. I think it has to do with Aunt Rose. I know you are not supposed to have favorite relatives but my grandfather was my favorite. Towards the end of his life he and I had developed a very special relationship. During my first year of teaching I moved in with him for awhile to help take care of him. Being diabetic he got an infection in his foot and ended up losing a few toes. My job was to get him up before I left for work. I would make him breakfast before heading out the door. During that time I was only part-time at the school, so I would be done by 11:30. I'd get back to his place in time to get lunch ready for him. I would have a few hours to run errands with him before I had to head off to my other job where I was a cashier. I would have stuff out for him and ready to go for his supper. I usually returned home around 9:30. I would then take care of his foot and rebandage it for the night. He would send me out to get his lottery tickets and would give me extra money to get some for me. If I won anything, I got to keep it. It was also during this time that I started eating tomatoes. He loved grape tomatoes on his salad and he had to have salad every night at dinner. That was a fun time for me. I remember the last time I saw him alive in the hospital. I had stopped in after work to see him and he didn't know who I was or why I was there. The day he died, my mom and I were shopping with a friend of hers. We were in the lingerie department of Walmart when my aunt called. The three of us headed over to the nursing home he had transferred to from the hospital. Mabel sat out in the lobby with me while Mom went in the room. I will forever be thankful for Mabel being there that day. She helped us through a very difficult time. The funeral was lovely. The flag in front of the city building was flying at half mast in his honor. Past and present officers from the police department were on hand to be pall bearers. What a way to honor a man who served the city for 26 years. Everyone had their favorite "Big Ben" stories to share. To this day when people find out who my grandfather was, they always have something nice to say. I might not be able to make it to the mass tomorrow, but he will be in my thoughts as I visit my other grandparents.

Well thought out plan

File this under stupid criminals. According to a Fort Worth newspaper article, a pizza clerk was surprised to discover that the robber that had been tackled and defrocked of disguise during a holdup was her own father. Not only that but her mother and husband were in the getaway vehicle parked outside. Police decided not to charge her with any role in the crime. It was obvious from the video surveilance that she was not involved and had no idea who the robber was at first. When questioned however, she did admit that she was aware that they were planning a hold up. She thought they were going to rob a convienence store. Now who is dumber? The girl for not trying to talk them out of their plan, or the family for actually thinking they could rob an establishment where a family member not only worked at but was on duty? It seems to me that society is just going down the tubes. Now I know our economy is not the greatest right now. What with rising gas prices and food costs. We all are feeling the crunch. But is it that bad that you have to rob a pizza place? I know on a friday night any given pizza place can really make the dough, no pun intended. I just wish I could have been there when the plan was hatched out. Which family member thought it was a good idea to rob the place in the first place? It goes to show you, the family that commits crime together, does time together.

Life Lesson #4

Time my friends for Life Lesson #4. I know how much you all love reading them. So what is my fourth lesson of life? Quite simply: Life Lesson #4- Drive the speed limit. Yes folks. I said drive the speed limit. And I am not saying this because of a speeding ticket. Rest assured I try my hardest to obey the law. Now, my other siblings. Not always the case. But I digress. Lesson #4: Drive the speed limit. You never know who's watching you. It would seem that in a small neighborhood in Missouri, someone has decided to take the speeding issue into his own hands. Wearing his bright orange reflector vest and armed with his Hot wheels radar gun,yes I said Hot wheels radar gun, the 11 year old stands out in his yard clocking drivers as they go by. Yes, my friend, he even writes down the speeds and license plate numbers. It seems that drivers are now braking whenever they see the young man out. Lord knows they don't want him coming after them. But would it really hold up in court? A toy radar gun? I didn't even know Hot wheels made one. You can be sure that I am going to have to check this out for myself. Now the city's response to this. They will put speed bumps in if enough people ask but the neighborhood has to foot half the bill to do it. Can you believe that? A city is going to charge to make the streets of a busy neighborhood safer for kids. Now, I saw a picture of the young man in his get up. Along with his vest and radar gun, he had his bike helmet. I couldn't help but think of the South Park episode where Cops was filming there and the boys were deputized. Cartman yelling "respect my authority" while on his big wheel is the best. You never know though. This young man could become a traffic cop someday. Stranger things have happened.

Can we say obsessed??

OK. I have a confession to make. I am currently obsessed with wanting to see the movie "Mama Mia". It comes out on friday and I am going with my friend Kris to see it that night. I can not wait. I recently purchased the cd soundtrack and have listened to it just about every day. When and how did this obsession begin? I can thank my friend Pat for this. Pat is a previous co-worker of mine from the assisted living I used to work at. She loves New York. Through some discussion of the topic, I acknowledged that I had always wanted to see NYC. Thus the idea was hatched that we would plan a trip sometime. Well, that time finally arrived. We both worked alot of extra hours and contacted a travel agent. This past March over my Spring Break from School, we went. It was amazing. I have never experienced anything like it before. We stayed right in Time Square. We were on the 30th floor of a very elegant hotel and the view was trully breathtaking. Every time I know see Nyc on tv I look very close to see if I recognize anything. While there, Pat had said that she had wanted to see Mama Mia. I was familiar with some of Abba's music and I knew my brother had seen it and loved it. So I splurged and got tickets for us. We were scheduled to see it our last night in town. What a way to end the trip. It was the best broadway show I had ever seen. Well, it's the only broadway show I have seen but none the less it was awesome. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was being made into a movie. I know that I could be getting my hopes up and be in for a bitter disappointment but, from the previews I don't think so. The scenery where they shot the film is very similar to the stage set itself. I can't get over it. And the actors they have chosen for the various roles fit perfectly. Well, you can be assured that I will give a full review after the movie on Friday.

Things are looking brighter

Maybe it was the new sunny outlook on life but things are starting to turn around. I finally got word that I am scheduled for my first of two surgeries on August 5th. I know I was hoping to have both arms done before the start of the new school year but am happy to be at least getting my dominate and worst one done. Hopefully this will help alot.

Changes

As I read a friend's blog I found myself echoing her sentiment. She recently changed her layout to more reflect her style. I felt that my page needed a little updating also. I found the colors, all though ones I love greatly, to be too dark and depressive. I have been looking within myself lately and believe that yes, according to popular belief, it is quite possible I am suffering from depression. Could anyone blame me if I were? Therefore I am taking steps to try to improve this. I thought that my blog layout was the appropriate start. I chose fresher, lighter colors to hopefully reflect my new outlook. Yes, my illness or whatever you wish to call it is real. But I can not let it rule my life. Sometimes I think that that is what happened with Aunt Rose. Yes, she had a lot of medical conditions but I think her mood worsened it. She was kind of a "Debbie Downer" for you SNL fans. I loved my aunt very much and I miss her greatly, but I don't want to become her and I fear that is where I am heading. I need to stay positive and not let the pain rule me. Easier said than done but what the hell. Nothing else is working. I am going to enjoy the rest of the summer and if I have surgery I have surgery. I am seeing my nuerologist from the sleep clinic on Thursday and am going to discuss options for improving my sleep. Even with said CPAP machine I am not sleeping. I am then going to call my PCP and see if I can't get in before my next appointment that is scheduled for next month. I think I need to discuss medication options. something needs to be changed. I am then going to throw myself into research getting ready for the start of the new school year. Even though I still do not have a complete class list I am going to forge ahead with preparations for implementing our new certification program. Glenna and I have a lot of great ideas. I need to contact the Red cross, the YMCA, the local craft store, and a local dance studio. The last of which I am most excited about. I want to see about signing them up for dance lessons. I think it would be very fun and good for their gross motor skills.
Life is too short. I learned that well when my aunt died in December. I am also moving ahead with my plans to memorialize my aunt, a tatoo. Someday I may tell my mom but for now she will freak out. Most of my friends know what I am planning. I just need to figure out where to get it and bite the proverbial bullet and do it.
This reminds me of something else I read on a blog today. I feel as if I am taking hold of my fears so that they do not control me anymore. So, on that note, I wish to congratulate my BFF's oldest son for conquering his fears and mastering the art of riding a bike. Andy said he was afraid of falling but I think it had more to do with failing. Andy is a bit of a perfectionist. He doesn't like to fail. I think when he saw that all 3 of his younger sisters could do it and he couldn't, that was enough of a motivator for him. He may not realize it but he learned something through this. We all fail at things. It's bound to happen. we can't be good at everything all of the time. It 's the getting back up after the fall that is important. If you let a little fall keep you from doing something what does that say for the rest of your life? Kudos Andy. You don't know how proud of you I am!!!
Finally, I would like all of you that should happen to read this to say a prayer tomorrow. The husband of said BFF is heading back to Kuwait to return to his unit after a two week leave. Let's hope his time goes fast and before we know it it will be Christmas and we will all be awaiting his return home for good. Good Luck Mark. Stay safe. We all love you!

Family time

I came back up to my hometown to go to the funeral home with my sister on friday. Yesterday, we went shopping and got shoes and a bookbag for Hunter. We met up with my parents at their house and had dinner together. There is nothing like your family sitting around the table and sharing a meal. Hunter entertains everybody. Once he finished he went in the other room to his toys. Conversation began and it ceases to amaze me the topics we can come up with. My brother had called to let us know that my niece had a softball game on Monday and that she would be pitching. My dad mentioned after he had hung up that he would take his "itch stick" with him. My sister gave him a puzzled look and he said his after bite. I guess it is something that you put on after you get bit and it stops the itch. Some how my sister brought up the stiptic pencils my dad uses when he cuts himself shaving. For those of you that know my dad you know how it drives us crazy that he insists to shave with a straight razor even though he has hemophilia. But it works for him thank god. Laura says "i don't know why dad swears by them I can never get them to work." Mom asks her if she wets it first. Laura's response: you're supposed to wet them? Classic Lauara response. Had us laughing for quite awhile. No matter how upset we can get with each other or disagree on issues one thing remains clear. We are family and we love each other.

What's in a name?

It seems that there is a baby boom in the celebrity population these days. When it comes to naming your child, every parent has their own way of choosing. A few of my friends are expecting and are creating possible lists with their spouses. Both are thinking of incorporating family names. But seriously, what are these celebrities thinking when naming their children? Of course the obvious is Suri and Shiloh. Not to be forgotten Shiloh's siblings Maddox, Zahara, and Pax. Now understandably these last three children are from foreign countries. Here are a few more for you to ponder. Sunday Rose (daughter of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban,born on a Monday by the way); Fushcia Catherine (daughter of Sting and his wife); and my favorite Miller Lyte (nephew of Matthew McConnehey who happened to name his new son Levi Alvers). I think you can figure out the Miller Lyte. It is the father's favorite beer. I am just wondering what it will be like for these kids growing up. Remember parents, the child has to live with it until they are 18 and then it costs a pretty penny to have your name changed. I know I have no room to talk. I haven't had children yet. But, I am in the schools day in and day out and know how kids can be. My suggestion. Stick with the classic first names and incorporate the odd into the middle. Who know's though. Maybe Miller Lyte will be president of the United States someday. Stranger things can happen.

where do I go from here?

I have returned back to my quiet apartment. Well, as quiet as it can be with dogs barking and thumping around above you. I once again called my surgeon's office today. Left hand does not know what the right hand is doing. The receptionist said that she would pass my message along to the scheduler and that person would get back to me. Time is ticking by. We are in to July and before you know it i will be back to work getting ready to start another school year. If I haven't had surgery by then, I am going to be forced to take sick time and that was the whole point of waiting until school was out. Everyone has noticed that I am not acting right. I don't know what to do. It is very hard to put a smile on your face when you are in constant pain. Everything is just frustrating and I feel like i am in a never ending vicous cycle. My sister seems to think that I need to increase my medication. This said during a recent argument. A friend suggested that I at least talk to my doctor about the meds that I am on. All I know is that I can't fall asleep and when I do finally fall asleep, I sleep for about 2 hr intervals. Since I started using the machine at night, I am once again dreaming but they are very vivid and strange dreams. None make sense what so ever. Thus my dilema. Which doctor do I go to. My PCF or the nuero at the sleep clinic.?
On a separate note, I wish to express my condolences to my friends Lisa and Patrick. Patrick's grandfather passed away yesterday after a brief battle with cancer. I worked with Patrick's aunt during my first few years of teaching. She was my first teaching assistant. Fred, Patrick's grandfather, drove bus for the district. He was one of the few bus drivers that could handle my autistic student. Fred was the rock of the family and will be greatly missed.