Soapbox Rant

Ok. I know I haven't written in awhile. Life has been very chaotic for me. I feel the need to get something off of my chest that I just read about. Hence the title of the blog.
I admit that at times I am naive as to the goings on in the world. I am aware of how women are treated and viewed in the Middle East. However, I was not aware how far they took things until recently. As I was perusing the tag lines on Yahoo I stumbled upon one that piqued my interest. It said "50 year old man to divorce child bride?" Now I have heard that term used when the wife mentioned is much younger than the man but imagine my surprise to discover that the female in question was only 9 years old and actually a child. It seems that it is a common practice in Saudi Arabia for fathers to arrange a marriage contract for their daughters and have them enter into it at very young ages. They feel it is ok for them to marry that young but the marriage can not be consummated until they hit puberty. The girls also will remain with their family until puberty. The husband is allowed to visit for short periods of time but cannot spend the night. There's just something wrong with that. I am glad someone has brought attention to it and is trying to do something about it. To me that is child abuse.

Things are looking good

My sister and best friend have been scouting the community looking for a house for us to rent. Laura went and looked at one on Saturday and it was a definite no, too small. There was another one that was having an open house on Sunday and at first she didn't want to look at it because it didn't have much of a backyard. But she decided to since it was so beautiful on the outside. She and Becky went to the open house and I got a phone call in which my sister proceeded to salivate right through the phone. The best part. It does have a backyard. It's fenced in behind the two car garage. So she got the paperwork and filled out her portion and on Monday faxed me my portion and I sent it back to the gentleman. Laura was worried going into it because she was pretty sure there were several interested in it. She called me at work yesterday and told me to sit down. We got the house!!! And I haven't seen it yet but Becky assures me that I will love it. I can't wait to see it on Saturday. Now all I need is a job.

sneak attack

And now... the end is near...and I did it my way. I feel Frank Sinatra's song is apprapo for the way I am feeling today. We knew it was inevitable. We had been anticipating this day. But once faced with it, no matter how much you are prepared, you are still surprised. There is nothing like opening up a district wide email to discover they are posting your job. Of course we are encouraged to apply once it is posted externally and our head honchos stated that they would do everything possible to find placement for us within our agency but we really should explore other options. Even though I had already took that step it is hard because not only does it effect me but the rest of my staff and my students. They are the ones that are going to suffer. I wish Canal winchester nothing but the best in trying to run these units on their own. But I can tell you there are major, major flaws in their plan. How about the fact of the number of staff they are hiring for each class. In my room alone I have 3 assistants for 7 kids. Next year there will only be 1 assistant. I have about 11 weeks left to make this the best school year for my students on record. As I said, I'll do it my way. Canal is going to regret treating us the way they have. We have become the parriah of the school. HHMMM... what are they going to do when we leave with all of our materials and we don't all jump at the chance to work for them?

File that under "He did what?"

This is one for my stupid criminals file. Growing up, my family's favorite ice cream treat was Klondike Bars. I can still remember the jingle: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" Well apparently a 65 year old man in Fort Pierce, Fl was willing to steal one. It seems the gentleman stole that, some Ramon noodles, and some famous amos cookies. When caught by the clerk, he pulled the smooshed, melted treat out of his back pocket and offered the clerk $69 to not turn him in to the police. Now if he had $69 to bribe the clerk with, why not just buy the items in the first place?

Signs

There are all different types of signs. Some signs are concrete. We can see them and they provide us with information. For example they tell us to stop, walk, where the next rest area is , etc. But there are also those signs that are more abstract and you have to really be watching and paying attention to see them. Some people don't believe in these types of signs. The type that help one deal with inner turmoil and difficult decisions that need to be made. Is this God assisting you in your time of need? Or when such signs are revealed is it just one big coincidence. I have been battling inner demons for a few weeks now. The prospect of losing a job that I trully love is difficult. I keep hearing "It will all work out. Everything happens for a reason." I can actually say I think I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing things to keep myself busy lately because I am homesick and have been for awhile. If I am not here then I can't think about what I am missing up there. But all the little signs or coincidences if that is what you would prefer to call them are leading me to one conclusion. It is time for me to seriously return home. Thanks to the best second mom a gal could ask for I was put onto a job lead for a new school that may be opening in the fall there. What's the sign you ask? The school is based here in Columbus. So, I polished up my resume with some assistance from a good friend and sent it out today. There is still no word from the district or my employer as to what is in store for us but I am feeling more confident with my decision everyday. In the words of the great Ozzie (Osbourne not Nelson) "Momma I'm coming home".

The road less traveled

One of my favorite poems is "The road less traveled". What I remember is "Two roads diverged in a wood. And I, I took the one less traveled by." This week I am finding myself at a major crossroad in my life. I received a phone call from my supervisor Monday afternoon to be told that the district school board was having a meeting that night to discuss whether or not they were going to continue to contract with my agency for our services. One of my co-workers went to the meeting to here what was going to happen and the board ended up going into closed session. Everyone is up in arms about the status of our jobs. Janet said that if the district did take the classes back we had the option of applying with the district or staying with the ESC. Last year at this time I would have said I would stay with the district but now I am not so sure. This considering that they have 30 displaced teachers due to budget cuts and the state is knocking at the door to take over. Call me stupid but now is not the time to become an employee of their district. That and I am pretty sure they are not going to pay me anywhere near what I am making now. The county has to provide me with a position but who knows where that would be. Plus I highly doubt they would keep my team together which sucks big time now that I finally have a great one. So, after much soul searching and discussion with my sister I have made a decision. After almost 6 years with the Educational Service Center of Central Ohio and living in wonderful central Ohio, should Canal Winchester Local Schools recapture their county units, I will be returning to Northwest Ohio. What will I do for a job? Who knows. At this point all I care is that I have insurance and can afford to split rent, utilities, and essentials with my sister. I'd even like to go back to school. Do I care if I teach? At this point, not really. I think I am suffering a little from burnout. I am one that firmly believes that things happen for a reason. I have been debating about returning to my home town for ahile now and maybe this is a sign. For now, all I can do is watch and wait. And boy do I hate waiting.

Ponderings

I realize I haven't written lately. Life has been pretty crazy between work and my never ending quest to find the answers to my chronic pain. It took me two weeks to be seen by my neurosurgeon only to be told he wanted to see the films and results from the MRI I had of my neck in 2007. I made an appointment to see him the following week and obtained the results from the imaging facility. I took the day off of work due to being squeezed into his schedule. I get all the way to his office (30 minutes away from where I usually see him) for him to look at the date (which I told him of the week before) and say it was too old and we would need to repeat it. At least he has a baseline. I went this past wednesday for it. I am in the midst of filling out paperwork when Glenna calls me to say she is having a severe asthma attack and needs to go home. Not to mention one of my students was sent to school with a high fever. I haven't heard back from the doctor so I am assuming there was no change which means it is not a pinched nerve in the neck and the problem is muscular. Glenna has pneumonia, the student had strep throat and by the end of the week, two more students had come down with it. Gee, do you think my neck problems could be stress related?
So something has been bothering me for over a week and I just can't seem to get past it. My sister says that I shouldn't let it bother me and maybe by writing about it I can purge my system and be done with it. Now, I know some cultures have different ways in which they treat women. And I think I experienced this first hand but it still unnerves me. Two weeks ago I had a gentlemen pick up the extra position that has been posted for my room on our sub web page. When I saw the name I anticipated someone not from the US originally. To be perfectly honest, after having worked with him, we are still unsure of where he is from. OK so here is how it went. "CP"(what I will refer to him) came in at 7:30 that Monday morning. Right off the bat he was standoffish toward me when he discovered he was not in subbing for me but as an extra pair of hands. At 10:00 I got a call asking if I could send one of my subs over to the elementary. I had 2 since Glenna was sick. I decided to send CP because of how Danielle was reacting to him. He got very pissed with me when I told him where he needed to go. He left and we went on with the day. He came back the next day (a little late) and everything was fine. Dona asked him where his hometown was and he replied Massechuesetts. She then made a comment about his accent which was tinged with French and he informed us his accent was English. Ok. Through more discussion during the day, Dona learned he had one daughter and she was 13 but he told Glenna she was 7 and in the first or second grade. He was very direct about asking questions about certain students backgrounds and questioning me on things. I began to get a vibe. You know how my spidey senses are. On Wednesday afternoon as school was dismissing he said to me "I can come in around 9:00 tomorrow." Not realizing he was asking if he could come in late. At this point I was alone with him and feeling uncomfortable so I agreed. He then said "Will your husband come get you if weather gets worse?" I said that I wasn't married and would drive myself home. He got this funny smile on his face and apologized for assuming I had a husband and I said it was no problem. He then smiled again and told me to call him if the weather got too bad and he would come back and take me home. Now, I know that sounds innocent enough but if you could have seen the expression on his face you would have gotten a little freaked out also. I told him I would be ok and I would see him in the morning. I told Glenna and Dona about it and they just kind of laughed it off. We were doing Valentine activities with the kids when he came in. He put his things away and came over to where we were working and interrupted me to tell me in front of everyone that the shirt I was wearing was just beautiful. Ok that freaked me out even more because the lacivious look was back and this time the girls saw it. Dona knew right away how uncomfortable I was. God love Danielle, she informed us she needed to go to the restroom and Dona and I left to take her. The rest of the day I was on edge because I felt he was watching me. At the end of the day I went to change back into the heels I had been wearing and he commented that when I was done with the shoes he would be willing to take them off of my hands. Now how weird is that. He also commented on the big bag I had and I should have a man carry that for me. Generally I stay in the building to wait for Melanie's bus to drop her off but that day I wanted out of there. Dona had grabbed the bag and I said I can carry my bag and she said your right, this thing isn't that heavy. I think he was a little disappointed when I bolted for the door. Glenna tried to joke about it but Dona knew I was not in the joking mood. My sister said maybe he was just trying to be nice after getting off on the wrong foot especially when he realized I was his supervisor. My feeling is he was totally inappropriate since I was his immediate supervisor. I know I am not used to guys complementing me but trust me his compliments I did not want. Now I have a personal struggle with what to say to my superiors. Do I tell them how uncomfortable he made me and that I would prefer not to be put in that situation again or do I keep quiet and pray he never picks up another assignment in my room? Maybe Laura is right. Maybe I read more into it. Who knows.

I feel the need, the need to.....

vent. Bet you thought I was going to say speed. I guess vent isn't really the word I want to use but I need to process the events of my day today. Now mind you we hadn't been in school since last Monday due to the snow storm we received. It has been my experience that with an unexpected absence such as that, kids can be wired. In my six years of working for the Educational service Center of Central Ohio (yes, we have had yet another name change) I had to do something for the first time. From the way my new student entered the building this morning I knew we were in for it. By 9:30 I had completed my first emergency removal of a student from my classroom. There was just no getting through to her and I had to follow through with the consequences I gave her if she didn't get herself under control. Without going into to much detail the gist of it is that a threat was made and I had to involve the police. Although the police did not ultimately take her, she was transported privately to Netcare and is currently under observation. This incident also opened my superviser's eyes on the fact of needing another adult in the room.

Going stir crazy

Let's see. It is now Thursday the 28th and I have only been to work one day this week. Monday night we received about 3 inches of snow and the district decided to close. My guess is they decided to do this because of a storm that was approaching. We then got ice ontop of the snow and then more snow. I braved the elements and cleaned my vehicle off around 12:15 today. I decided to tackle the ice head on. I used a hammer. Within half an hour I was able to get into the car and venture out to survey the roads. Needless to say if the back roads around here are anything like the main road, school will not be in session tomorrow either. The majority of the roads are still snow covered, slushy in places, and sheets of thick rutted ice in others. My apartment complex is awful. They plowed but it is still very icy.
Since Danielle has started in my class, we have been in school 6 days. It's frustrating because I understand the need for safety for the staff and students. But I am not going to make any progress with her if we keep missing school. I feel like we are starting to gain her trust. She is testing us no doubt about it. We caught her trying to hide a broken crayon on her person. Lord only knows what she would have down with it.
I am trying to keep myself busy. Luckily I had gone to the library and gotten some books. I have read 1 so far and am about a 1/3 through the second. I have taken more time to cook after discovering some good recipes on weight watchers website.
At least I work at Lakeview this weekend. They wanted me to come in today but I hadn't attempted to get my car out and after being out on the roads I am glad I turned it down. Lord only knows what the roads are going to be tonight. The temp isn't even above 25 and I think it's supposed to get colder. But I won't mind going in Sat. or Sunday. I love working the weekends. It's nice and quiet generally.

ARRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I have about 5 minutes to blog before my little lady gets dropped off from school. I am so frustrated it is not funny. I get an email a few minutes ago from my supervisor stating that now the MRDD case worker wants to transition my new student to ARC Industries. She has no further information at this time. How am I supposed to get my students out to job sites and make arrangements for transportation if you keep changing things on me? And is she going to come here so many days and ARC so many? Does she really have all of her needed high school credits? I have yet to see a cum file on her. Some days I think my supervisor doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground. Do these people even realize what they are doing to this young lady? All of this constant change is not good for her fragile mental health status. Sure ma glad it is Friday!!!!!!!

The Journey has begun

As you can tell as you read my posts alot of them have dealt with issues I have reagarding my health. If I haven't mentioned it before I am overweight and I know that plays a big part in my problems. I have been overweight since jr. high. I tried to lose weight in high school but found it very difficult. Factor in peer pressure and how others treat you and the constant nagging of my mother I basically would give up. I would lose some and then gain it back. I believe we call that yo-yoing. During college I managed to lose a little and keep my weight pretty consistent. I am one that can say I didn't gain the freshman 15. Through talking things out with one of my friends I have begun to come to terms with things. I want acceptance desperately but often turn to food when my emotions are out of control. This same friend was in about the same situation as I am and was. She took things into her own hands and lost the weight and has managed to maintain a healthy weight and I am so proud of her. It is her that I look to for encouragement. Now that I have some of my health issues under control it is time to start working on a new me. Only my sister, parentsand assistants at work know what I am about to say. I didn't want my friends to know until I had seen some results. Around the 1 year anniversary of my Aunt's death I took the big step and joined weight watchers. My 2 friends have done it with wonderful results. I am not going to meetings at this time because I am 1) too busy to get time in for a meeting and 2) too embaressed. I don't want anyone but my doctor and I knowing my weight. She is aware of what I am doing and is offering me safe exercises that I can do to reduce stress on my joints since I am still experiencing so much pain. I keep track of my points on line, I am reading food labels, and learning to make more healthy choices. I was very scared when I went to Florida. I knew I would be eating out with my parents and hadn't done much of that at that point. I managed to lose while there. My sister has been my biggest supporter by far. And I am proud to say that as of today after being on the program for a little over a month I have lost 14.6 pounds. I am happy with the number. I do not want to loose too much too fast because I am afraid I will put it right back on. I have a long road ahead of me but am taking it one day at a time. I have an ultimate goal of what I want to lose but am making short term goals along the way. Currently I want to lose 20%. I hope to be there around March/April. I thought I was about to have a setback last week with all the stress I was under from work. I had to stop focusing on it because it was driving me crazy. In fact I hadn't weighed in since January 9 because I didn't want to see the number. I forced myself today and was equally surprised. I am not on a diet. I am making a life style change and I can do it. I'll keep you posted along the way.

Remembering when.....

The year was 1989. I was embarking on what I thought at the time was the scariest thing in my life. I was entering high school. I had always been a shy introverted kid. Those who know me now can't fathom it. But needless to say I was scared spitless. I was going to the Catholic high school in the neighboring town. No one from my grade school class would be there. I could start over and no one would know about the hell I had been through in Jr High. I remember standing in the hall in front of the gym on Orientation day. No one said hi, they were all in their groups. My guidance counselor came up to me and asked how I was doing. She offered to introduce me to some kids and at that moment two girls walked out of the gym. You could tell they already knew each other by the way they interacted with each other. Mrs. Oxley pulled the two girls over and introduced them to me. She explained that I came from the neighboring town, didn't know anyone, and if they minded hanging out with me. God bless that woman. Today I count myself lucky that Mrs. Oxley intervened. One of the girls she introduced me to has remained my best friend to this day. I count myself lucky to have had such a lasting friendship that has survived the test of time. We may not get a chance to talk every day, but when we do get a chance we make the most of it. When I am down in the dumps about things I stop and think about what Becky has had to sacrifice lately. She is married to a wonderful man who has answered the call of duty for the United States not once but twice. With his deployment oversees, she has stayed the rock of the family raising their 4 children. Today is her birthday and I wanted her to know what her friendship has meant to me over the years. Becky, you have always supported me in whatever decisions I have made. You have listened to me bitch about my job(present and past). You have offered suggestions and a shoulder when I needed one. I hope I have been able to do the same for you. I can never tell you how much it meant to me when you took my sister and her son into your home in her time of need. Enjoy today and may you have many more happy birthdays to come. But remember, you'll always be older than me. Ha!Ha!

Interesting discovery

The deep freeze has hit Ohio along with the snow. I have been cooped up in the house since coming home from work early yesterday and I have already gotten the call that school is canceled for tomorrow. That means I won't be seeing my students until Wednesday. They get a nice little mini vacation. Monday is a holiday and Tuesday is an inservice day for the district. I am glad I didn't have to work today because I have the beginnings of a pretty nasty cold and I know that no matter how sick I am to become I would not have called off. I have been trying to desperately get warm. I am an my warmest pajamas and have on my trusty Ohio State sweatshirt and am wrapped up in a blanket. I have spent the day reading and just browsing online throughout the day. I stumbled across an interesting news article that actually pertained to my job. A DVD has been released that teaches children with autism the meaning of emotions and facial expressions. As a special education teacher, I know first hand how difficult it is for children on the spectrum to grasp such an abstract concept. A professor in England has been conducting research for years and is responsible for the program. The professors last named seemed familiar and it turned out he is a cousin to the comedian Sacha Baren Cohan or Borat as most people in the US know him. He did a study with the materials developed and found that if a child on the spectrum were to watch his DVD for 15 minutes a day for a month there was a significant increase in their understanding of emotions and facial expressions. It seems he paired motorized vehicles such as trains and buses, etc. and real faces to create the DVD. I was curious so I went to the website. They had a link for you to watch an episode of the video on YouTube. I was amazed at how they were able to integrate the actual human faces onto the vehicles. He choose trains and such because of fascination children with autism seem to have with them. I checked out his research and it is very interesting. Those children that watched the video for a month equaled their typical peers in facial/emotional recognition. My only question would be how severe were the cases of Autism? Where on the spectrum did they fall? I wonder how many of the children actually fell into the severe end of the spectrum. I want to be excited about this discovery but at the same time I am skeptical. I will give him credit. He stated both in the article and on the website that this was not a cure for Autism. He also had an interesting theory about Autism. Since it is predominantly a male disorder he felt it had something to do with the wiring of the male brain. Women, he feels, are more capable of discerning patterns in everyday occurrences. Men however aren't. He feels that figuring out emotions and facial expressions is exactly that, the figuring out of a pattern and making sense of it. Interesting theory. For anyone reading this interested in Autism, the link for the website is www.thetransporters.com. Even if you don't know anyone with Autism or work with that population, I strongly recommend checking it out. I found it very interesting. I might just try to talk my speech therapist into ordering it.

Paging Dr. Freud

I might have minored in Psychology in college but Sigmund Freud I am not. I can honestly tell you my staff and I are not equipped to deal with the mental issues my new student has. Once she gets past her hang-ups which takes an hour or two, she is an intelligent and delightful young lady. Very polite also. Yesterday wasn't too terribly bad. We had a 2-hr delay for weather so that helped her. She was late this morning due to a psych appointment and all hell broke loose the minute she got there. Glenna gave her the news-2-you article we had been working on and sat down with her to read it. She proceeded to burst into tears. We had to take her out of the room because she was scaring the others. She was asking us for help because she wanted to hurt herself. We walked for a little bit and I sat her down on a window ledge and we talked. I asked her what had happened that she wanted to hurt herself. She informed us that she had been sexually assaulted which I suspected. She then proceded to bury her face in my shoulder and say that she wished she would just die. Glenna and I were just looking at each other dumbfounded. We tried to approach it as that was something that had happened in the past and we were sorry it had. But this was the present and we were not going to let anything happen to her. I walked her back to the room and we got her settled down and by lunch she had caught up on her work. The afternoon went along pretty smoothly except for the 1/2 hour she spent in the bathroom. We are catching on to her avoidance tactics. But the shocker came at the end of the day when Glenna was walking her out to her cab. They were having a conversation when out of the blue she asked if Glenna heard voices in her head. Glenna said no, what do the voices tell you to do. She responded that they told her to hurt herself. Glenna then asked if the voices were male or female and she said both. Scary. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. They finally found someone to help us out and she starts tomorrow. It is for a week and a half and then we will determine if it is still necessary. Hell yes it's going to be necessary. I am not going to break this girl of this cycle in 8 school days. If 2 people have to be with her that leaves 1 adult in the room with the 6 remaining students. 3 of them are one-on-one assistance. That is not fair to the kids or my staff. From the stories I am hearing this has been going on for a long time with this young lady. She is known throughout our program but yet Janet couldn't give me any info. Couldn't or wouldn't? All I can say is that we three are all on the same page and we are documenting out the ying yang. I know how to cover my ass. Hopefully this new woman will fit in and climb on board with what we are doing. On a sad but happy note, tomorrow is Kyle's last day with me. He will be transitioning to our community based training program at Ohio State on thursday. I am happy for him but he is such a great young man and he will be missed.

Update

Well I certainly have been one busy beaver today. I spent most of the day preparing for the arrival of my new student on Monday. First thing this morning I went down to the Principal's office and talked with him and the assistant principals. I informed them of what was coming our way on Monday. All jaws dropped to the ground. The principal has offered support and stated that he also felt that 2 adults should be with her at all times. I then emailed my supervisor and the head of our department at the county office. I let them know in no uncertain terms that I had concerns and felt that another adult was needed for my room. I also stated that I have learned from past experiences that I can not rely on Tom and his staff ( the other unit in the building) to help us out. I also do not want Judy coming into contact with her at all. As of now I am awaiting confirmation from the head to approve but the district she is coming from has agreed to pick up the tab for the aide. I was even asked by my supervisor if there was anyone in particular that I had in mind to fill the position. For once someone listened to my concerns. We have rearranged the room to be conducive to her needs. The boys will all be seated at a table away from her. She actually has her own work area butted up against the two tables the other students work at. I have made a picture schedule to tape to her work area along with a set of rules for her. My assistants and I made sure that they were all positively written. I then made observation sheets for us to use to collect data throughout the day. One will document her behavior and overall mood/attitude/appearance by the hour during the school day. The second is to document her trips to the bathroom. We will log her time out of the room as well as her return. We will also chart any items found on her when searched. Two staff members will escort her down to the bathroom and accompany her in. The final data sheet will document what she has in her possession when she enters and leaves the building each day. We will also document the number of pens and pencils etc. she has at her desk during the day. Before she leaves for the day she has to turn in all of those materials to one of us and it will be documented. Every morning she will have to ask for her materials. She will be allowed to journal for 5-10 minutes first thing every morning about her feelings. We are going to explain her rules to her and let her know that this is a start of a clean slate for her. Show us that you can follow the rules and handle your emotions and your privileges will increase. I am dealing with things better today because I have a plan of action. I informed my supervisor of what we had done today to prepare and she was impressed and felt we had everything under control. I truly do not know if I could have gotten everything prepared if it hadn't been for Glenna and Dona. I don't know what I would do without the two of them. I only hope that the next adult to join us is just as good a fit. Oh, and to complicate matters I am getting a male student teacher in 2 weeks from Ohio Dominican University. According to his professor, I think he has to do something on behavior. Well, here you go Patrick. Have I got the student for you. Might as well get your feet wet now.

Didn't see that coming

Talk about being blindsided. What is it that makes people say, "Give it to Kim, she can handle it." That is what I am feeling right now in regards to my job. Got a difficult student? Let's send them to Kim's classroom. She and her staff can handle anything. I am very upset with my supervisor these days. Not only does she very rarely make an appearance in my classroom but most information is delivered to me by e-mail the day before something is to occur. Oh, by the way, so and so is actually in a higher grade than we thought so he's coming to your room tomorrow. And he is a two person assist in the bathroom because he is unable to ambulate from his wheelchair to the toilet independently. "Jimmy" will be coming to you room because the parents want him placed in a different classroom due to how the staff is treating him. And did I mention that he has constant bathroom accidents and the parents want him to wear regular underwear instead of incontinent supplies. Oh, and one other thing, mom was my daughter's teacher in jr. high and we are best friends. (This particular student moved back to his home district after a new teacher was assigned to that class.) This week I received an email from her on Tuesday telling me that "there will be a placement meeting for a young lady tomorrow at 1:00. I have been told she is very much like a previous student in your room. Can you make it?" My response, "Yes. What do we know about her? What grade? How old?" Her response was, "Didn't you get a referral packet?" Now, if I had gotten a referral packet would I be asking questions? Seeing that I have been burned a few times lately by this woman, I was very suspicious that she was not very forthcoming with information. I told my assistants that I hated how I was feeling because I was going into this meeting blind. I go to the meeting and am there when the student arrives. She seems very nice. She is pleasant to talk to and you can hold a decent conversation with her. My supervisor arrives and hands me a copy of the current IEP (individualized education plan). We go over the goals and I accept them and then as they are talking I begin to read the present levels of performance and boy was I in for the shock of my life. I found out why there was a behavioral specialist tied to the goals. It seems that my new student has mental health issues and is recently coming back to school after having been on home instruction due to school being an inappropriate placement for her. It seems that she has made false accusations of sexual abuse by students and staff. Not only that but when she is in a state of high anxiety and frustration, she self-injures to make the pain go away. When I informed my assistants of this they asked if she was a cutter. I told them no that she is an inserter. They both said what. I then explained to them that she had to be searched before she was allowed to go in the bathroom because she would hide objects on her person and then inserts them into private areas of her body while in the bathroom. I am going to be honest with you. I have dealt with a lot of aggressive and harmful behavior in my time but never like this. I desperately want to give this young lady a fresh start but yet I feel like I can't trust her and that I have to watch out for the other students in my class. And for someone her age to be doing something like that tells me that she has been sexually abused in the past. It just makes my heart ache. I want this to be a positive experience for her and for her anxiety levels to diminish. But I can't help but feel like crucial information was kept from me. Let's keep Kim in the dark and then spring it on her in the meeting so that she can't say anything about it. I don't want anyone to think that I don't want this student. We have been thrown curve balls before and things have turned out fine. I am just tired of finding out about things at the last minute. Tell me ahead of time and be absolutely honest and upfront with me so I can prepare properly. This girl is starting Monday and I am scrambling to have a plan of action in place. There goes my weekend. I am going to stew and fret about it until then.

Happy New Year!!!!

Here it is. New Year's Eve. Just when I was finally getting used to writing 2008 it is time for 2009 to begin. What will this new year hold for me? To be quite honest, I have no idea. It is currently 2:18 in the morning as I sit here and ponder that thought. I should be in bed but am finding that sleep is once again eluding me. I got home to my apartment around 11:30 pm after spending the majority of the day sitting in airports waiting for flights or in the air. I left sunny Orlando at 3:30pm and arrived in Charlotte, NC a little after 5:00. I then waited for my connecting flight to Columbus, OH which was not scheduled to leave until 8:55. I am exhausted but can't fall asleep. This I don't understand. The entire time I was visiting my parents in florida I slept on a pull-out sofa and had the best nights of sleep in a very long time. I get home and it all starts in again. I lay down and close my eyes but nothing happens. I am not swiftly taken to la-la land. So here I sit writing these thoughts down that are floating around in my head. At some point later today I am driving up to see my sister and nephew. Things are looking up for her. She was granted a temporary Civil Protection Order for my nephew against her ex husband. Everything is in the hands of the prosecutors office as to whether charges are going to be filed against him or not. His over night visitations have been terminated. His girlfriend is responsible for pick up and drop off on designated visitation days. If anything happens to Hunter while in her care, she could face criminal charges also. Brian did surrender himself and admit his guilt. But my guess is he will come out of this smelling like roses as usual. Hunter said he apologized to him. But that is Brian's "MO". He did the same thing to Laura during their marriage.
Aside from the fact that I have been batling a sinus infection and ear infection since before my trip, I had a nice time with my parents. We went to Disney's Hollywood Studios and saw their Christmas lights display. It was beautiful. It was chilly that night so it made it even better. We went to the beach one day. I like going to Merritt Island which is the wildlife refuge at Cape Canaveral. After we left the beach we drove through a self guided tour. We got the brochure and I read as we came upon each thing. We saw 3 alligators and a bald eagle. It was trully breathtaking. We did a lot of resort hopping as my parents like to call it. we would go to the various disney hotels and find an area to sit at and play cards for awhile. All my parents have to do is show their cast IDs and they have access to pretty much anywhere on the Disney property. Unfortunately I was not able to take much advantage of their free admission because they were blacked out from the parks. It is just as well. I have been in the parks during the holidays and it is packed. I can't stand being in large crowds anymore. I enjoyed visiting the various resorts and checking out how they decorated. It was also nice just to spend time with my mom and dad. I won't see them now until they come home in April. They are all excited. They picked up their "costumes" today and start back to work on Sunday. They sell merchandise at Hollywood Studios during their night time show called fantasmic. Did some shopping of course. Found a few things I wanted to get my sister and my mom is going to get them for me when she gets her 50% discount again. That is one of the main reasons she works for Disney. She wants the perks. My dad just loves the atmosphere and being there. It had been a dream of his to retire and go to work there. I am going to wrap up this blog and head back to bed and try to get some rest. I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and may your year be blessed with good health, happiness, and prosperity.

What is your opinion?

As I was perusing the daily headlines online today, I saw one that caught my eye. I clicked on it and began to read the article. Anyone alive for more than 25 years is familiar with the name John Walsh. Who doesn't know the host of America's Most Wanted. But how many actually remember how he got that program started and why? Today, it was announced that after 27 years, the murder of his 6 year old son, Adam has finally been solved. There was a lot that went wrong when little Adam Walsh disappeared from a Sears in Hollywood, Florida in 1981. The police department messed up big time and John and his wife were there holding them accountable. Two weeks after his disappearance, fishermen found Adam's decapitated head in an area where they were fishing. The rest of the body was never recovered. The police had a suspect but due to their mistakes they were never able to fully charge him with the crime. The suspect, Otis Toole, confessed and later recanted his confession. Carpet samples from his home with blood stains were lost along with some other key evidence that linked him. Toole confessed to over 100 murders and was eventually sent to prison where he would die. On his deathbed he confessed he had in fact kidnapped and murdered Adam to his niece who recently gave this information to the police. Does this help the Walsh's? Who is to say. It most likely brings closure for them but the fact remains that their little boy is gone. He never had a chance to grow up. I guess I had never really thought about it but had Adam been found and lived, he would be my age today. But in my opinion, out of tragedy has sprung good. We now have the missing children's database for every local police department to access. We are fingerprinting our children. Violent criminals are being apprehended daily due to John Walsh's TV program. At the end of the article a professor of Sociology and Criminology from Mount Holyoke was quoted at saying he felt that because of the Walsh's persistence we have created a society that is afraid. I don't think that is true. I think we have brought this issue to light and parents are more vigilant when it comes to their children's safety. He stated that we have raised children to be frightened of strangers. With the type of deplorable characters wandering the streets these days you can not be too careful. We can not live a blind existence anymore and think our children are safe. There are monsters out there that prey on children. We need to face that. If the programs John and his wife started can find and bring just one child home safely then that is a good thing. Let me know what you think. To say the least, this professor has gotten my panties in a bunch. I must go fix them now.

This blog entry is written in honor of Adam Walsh.

disFUNctionality

I have always said that my family puts the "FUN" in disfunctional. Case in point. My dad has 2 younger sisters, both total opposites in every way. Cindy is a teaching assistant and lives with her husband in Maryland. Both are very successful, upstanding citizens. Kris lives in Florida and "sponges" off of the government. She has been on disability for several years now from a back injury sustained while working. She has been battling with worker's comp for a settlement and finally received it. My uncle decided he had enough of her outragious behavior and left. Things between Kris and my dad have not been good over the years. Aunt Cindy and her husband were in Florida visiting my parents this past week. She set up a visit with my Aunt Kris and convinced my mom and dad to go. A good time was had. The evening ended and they headed back to where they were staying. The next day my aunt gets a phone call from my 24 year old cousin Jordan (Kris' oldest). He needed bail money because my aunt had landed herself in the pokey. It would seem that after everyone had left she decided to go to the bar with her boyfriend. Jordan and his girlfriend ended up bringing her home after she got wasted out of her mind. She was very adament about leaving so Jordan took her car keys and hid them from her. He sent her to her room and ordered her to bed. Around 3:00 am they discovered she wasn't in the house. He and his girlfriend went looking for her and found her wandering down the road. There was a struggle to get her in the car but they finally did. Somehow she managed to get the car door opened and jumped out of the moving vehicle. A police officer happened to be in the vacinity and saw what was going on. He approached my aunt and she became very belligerent with him. The next thing the poor cop knew he was being sucker punched by my aunt. So she is being held for drunk and disorderly and assaulting a police officer. Bail is over $5,000 for the assault alone. Everyone agreed that they were not going to put the money up. She was just going to have to figure out things on her own. They are tired of bailing her out. As my uncle told Jordan, she'll have a roof over her head, 3 warm meals, and her meds administered. What more could she want? Some might say how can you allow a family member to sit in jail. Well, when you have dealt with someones ridiculous actions for so long, there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough and my family has finally reached that point.

Just in time for Christmas

Have someone in your life that you are just quite not sure what to get for them for Christmas? Is that someone a blonde? Why you ask? Well, just in time for Christmas you can now purchase a keyboard especially designed for those wonderful blondes in your life. Yes, my friends for just $49.95 you can give the gift that is sure to help any challenged blonde overcome the confusing computer keyboard. This keyboard comes in bright pink and has such wonderful features as a backspace key that says "Oops!". How about a dollar sign that sounds like a real cash register clinking. Or the row of function keys that spell out USELESS KEYS. Then there are the "OMG", "ALI"(absolutely love it), and "XOXO"keys. The best is the cap lock key that says: "Warning! size XXL letters". Just when I think I have seen it all someone comes up with something new.